My Will Is Forever

If I’m murdered or otherwise go missing, I want this site and every single letter of text and bit of media to remain intact and online publicly for as long as possible – ideally forever. Do not hide anything. Do not remove anything. Do not reformat anything. I request that all content should remain in the manner that I left it. 

This website is most important but I prefer that the same goes for all of my social media as well, which includes the following accounts exclusively:





I am of sound mind, and in a peaceful state, free of all mind-altering substances as I’m writing this. This post should be treated as my legal will. I designate no one as my legal or social representative should I be killed or disappear. No one should speak for me. No one should release any property of mine posthumously that I did not approve beforehand on this site – not a single phrase, photo, sound bite, nothing.

No one is worthy of representing me as a character in any form of media. I do not give anyone permission to write books or make movies about me, my story, or my likeness. No shorts, comics, sketches, poems, songs, nothing whatsoever. There should be no keynote speaker at my funeral, if there were to be a funeral. Everyone that wants to say something should be able to and the allotted time for each person should be the exact same. The order should be completely random.

In the case of one of these deadly or mysterious disasters, I wish that 100% of my belongings be sold in the most profitable way possible, with no exceptions whatsoever, and the money earned donated evenly to as many people living in poverty as possible, so that ideally it would come down to 1¢ per person, randomly distributed across Earth. Poverty should be measured in each country of the world using the most popular measuring tool utilized in each of those respective countries at the time of this occurrence free of any alteration from any party or organization of any country.

I wish, in the case that I’m killed prematurely, that I’m cremated, and 100% of my ashes be emptied into a randomly selected wooded area of Wisconsin. That area should never be revealed to anyone. My dead body should not be touched by a single person beyond those absolutely necessary to move my body, cremate me, and dump my ashes. Ideally it would only be one person handling all of these tasks.

If some are so inclined, they may promote my name, story, or productions in the forms that I’ve left behind publicly. All of this promo should be directed to my name and my pages only – with no additional names, pages, products, or anything of the kind added. All profits should be used in only 2 ways: be put back into further promoting myself, or donated in the same way that the earnings from my belongings was distributed. The decision is up to who paid for the marketing.

This is not at all a suicide note at all. I plan to live at least 50 years longer but I don’t currently trust anyone other than myself to know that this is what I would want (or to legitimately go based off something I wrote on paper).

– Clifton “Beef” Grefe

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